I was doing more and more work, doing the exercises and focusing on feeling my feelings and being grateful. I started to search for beauty everywhere I looked. Ugly sidewalks might have a tiny flower growing through the cracks. Trees. The sky. Architecture. Moments. Whatever. Wherever. I posted them on my facebook page. It forced me to engage with my facebook friends on a more intimate level. This was the inside of my head. This was personal. I wasn’t hiding behind Molly or Rob or their events. I was saying that something moved me. This may not sound like a big deal to many of you and to be honest it sounds a little crazy to me too, now.
When I see how far I’ve come since then I can barely remember what I was like before. I’m telling you this was a big deal in finding my voice. In putting myself on display. On fighting like crazy for my health and well-being. I couldn’t see beauty when I started my list. I was sad and done and afraid and feeling very much like there was not much point to existing.
Finding beauty in my day to day was a brave act. It was that very small part of me that was hidden away that was saying, “I want to stay. There’s more to see here. There’s still something good. And if that flower can grow in a cracked, ugly sidewalk what are am I capable of? Maybe there’s still hope.” Sometimes allowing yourself to hope in the midst of grief and despair is the bravest thing you could ever do.
My husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page. We give further background into the story and include the spouse’s perspective. Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below.
I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.
Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn