Publicly Fangirled – Number 8

   I love the X-Files. I mean I really love the X-Files. Unlike anything before or after, I love the X-Files. I have loved it since the very first episodes originally aired and have been relatively closeted most of my life. If anyone would mention it, I would light up and be desperate to talk about it, but I would never engage in the community. I would read the fan fiction, but never comment. I would scour websites and blogs, but never engage. In 2016, Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny were at Wizard World Chicago about 20 minutes away from my house. More importantly, I had a press pass for the event. I stood in the next room doing everything I could not to run into them or catch a glimpse of them. I was afraid that the glow coming off of me would alert everyone that there was a rabid fan on site. I hid the whole time. 

   Fast forward to August of 2019 and both actors were coming back to the same comicon. I had a press pass, but this time I was realizing how short life is and that the show was truly over and I may never have this chance again. My husband bought me a VIP pass. I got to meet both actors, take a picture with both actors, and get signatures from both actors. The level of bravery for this public outing of my very private obsession was epic. Not only was the public going to know, but the actors were going to know.

   I have no chill. I prepared myself that I would cry, possibly throw up or pee myself. The glow… the glow was going to happen. The high-pitched voice? Gonna happen. But I went and I waited in line with all the other fans just like me. I had my daughter dressed like Belle from Beauty and the Beast as my buffer and my husband was there to hold me up. We met Gillian first and she was so gracious. She had just turned 50 a couple of weeks before so I told her how I had a breakdown and her book got me out of bed. I thanked her for giving me back to my husband and daughter. We commiserated over being 50. She was signing my book and said, “I forgot how to write.” I joked back that it was ok because I forgot how to read. She then told us how she once forgot how to drive. She had been driving for ten years at the time and got in the car and just forgot everything. We shared some more stories like the time I forgot how to throw when Rob and I were playing catch and then I fell over sideways on the grass and how Molly once forgot how to sit down. It was a great first meeting and we made friends in line who we spent the rest of the day with. 

   We then went to the photo op and had a picture taken with both Gillian and David. Later we met David and then went to their panel. We went back the next day so my daughter could invite Gillian to her play at Christmas. I survived. I was so glad that I went. I didn’t throw up or pee myself. I would have absolutely regretted not going for the rest of my life. I don’t want any more regrets. I don’t want to live a small life anymore. I don’t care what anyone thinks. If you love something, share your passion. The world needs more love and positivity. Don’t hide what lights you up. Sometimes bravery is sharing your passion.

If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse’s perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below.

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